omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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