i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
