I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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