I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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