last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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