? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
