At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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