so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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