are you still at the devil's house?
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
