There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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