if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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