I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
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