Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
