I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
