Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
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