she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
