I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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