Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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