Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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