Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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