Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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