I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Randomize
