I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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