Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
