somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
