I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
not ubering you a puppy
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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