and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
