Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
