2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
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After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
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The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
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