SEEEEXXX PLEASE
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
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You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
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You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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