NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
