you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
