i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
