Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
either way he was missing a nipple.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
