how can u be prego again
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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