so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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