NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I stole a fireplace last night.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
