I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
