people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
