Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
