Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
The power of my boobs compel you
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize