i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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