i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
