okay pat passed out under dana's car
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Randomize
