they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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