Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.