Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
i out mim tonsoeep
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