shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex