everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
These 17 People Made Horrible Decisions That Ruined Their Lives
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often