Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
These 23 People Had Sex With Someone From Completely Different Cultures
Too much gin, very little bucket
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.