I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
25 Adults Reveal The Most Embarrassing Stories From When They Were Kids
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.