Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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