Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.