there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
