I hate your face
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
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