I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize