I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
