Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
