I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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