all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
