no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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