last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
i am craving dick and cupcakes
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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