Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Randomize
